Robert N. Lee

Moar Awesome Hawaii Kid Landmarks

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1. Site of surprise rabbit punch from assistant pastor’s second oldest son, because I sucked at soccer. (Around the middle of this map, apparently Streetview avoids that parking lot for my sake.)

2. Where I first found out, for real, that some girls put toilet paper in their bras. (Again, middle of the map someplace thereabouts – out there on the lava flow.)

3. There used to be an SF/fantasy/comics oriented bookstore in here, and this is where I saw Gene Roddenberry speak, one time while he was on vacation, and decided that (a) Gene Rodenberry was a pretty big douche and (b) I didn’t like fandom very much and would like to find some way to like SF and fantasy and comic books and stay far away from it. Primarily because I was around all these adult fans, like the age I am now, and they were all impressed by Rodenberry and…the guy was a douche.

4. I dunno if they do it anymore, but yes, kids really used to swim out and tourists coming in on boats would throw them money, and I used to do that sometimes. About right between the street sign and the lady crosslegged on the rock wall, past the second orange boat, these two fucking burly Chinese twins who worked together held me under and took my dollar away. OMG did they suck.

5. Almost drowned about here, one night after dinner when everybody else was busy doing something else. No one would have known if I had died, I fought and almost gave up and finally broke surface in the twilight all by myself and walked back and realized it wasn’t a very good story, really, so why bother? I just went too far out when it was too dark, that was dumb. One of those First Adult Moments.

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